The holidays are particularly painful times for alienated parents, the victims of abusive resident parents who deny the non-resident parent any time with their children, often out of pure malice, regardless of whether that time is court ordered or not.
To an alienated parent, there are so many triggers for pain that surround us every day.
But the holidays hurt the most because the rituals other families enjoy serve as a constant reminder of our isolation, alienation and the fact that we and our children, are being bullied.
Easter and Christmas are possibly the worst. Firstly, because they tend to be the dominant holidays in the Western cultures where this insidious social disease is enacted, perpetuated by a legal system that fails to do anything to stop it. And secondly, because of the absolute hypocrisy of it all.
Bizarrely, many alienators actually attempt to justify what they do by suggesting, time and again that it is they who are the wronged party. They imply that they are on a moral crusade to protect OUR children from someone THEY adjudge to be an unfit parent, implacably hostile toward them. Yet, invariably, the exact opposite is true and the non-resident parent is simply desperately trying to hang on to a relationship with the children they love very much.
The scale of the hypocrisy, however, is accentuated by the fact that holidays like these are supposed to be pillars of the Christian ethos, a time to lead by example in the ways of righteousness.
Take Easter. The Christian theory is that we have all sinned and deserve God’s judgment. According to Christians, at Easter, God, the Father, sent His only Son to satisfy that judgment for those who believe in Him. Jesus the creator and eternal Son of God, who lived a sinless life, loves us so much that He died for our sins enabling people to be re-born. Even in pre-Christian times, people believed that Easter was a time of re-birth, of cleansing and starting again.
Yet alienating parents cling to how they have always behaved. They derive a strange sense of power and enjoyment from denying their co-parent time with their own children, especially if they beg. They refuse to share in the start of Spring or allow the other parent to treat them to simple pleasures like chocolate, toys and much-needed time outside as the seasons turn.
Alienating parents are the absolute antithesis of everything Christ or the ancient deities stood for. Yet so many call themselves Christian and send their children to Christian schools.
Same at Christmas, The messages in sermons at that time of year are all about peace and joy, respect, goodwill and love and celebrating the birth of Jesus, the promise that comes with a child. Yet alienating parents are virtually rabid such are the lengths they go to to hog Christmas time with the children to themselves, often spending $tens of thousands just to ensure that their former partner NEVER gets to have the children to celebrate that holiday.
So, having just recovered from being forced to leave presents on driveways for fear of abuse or even arrest, yes arrest, alienated parents the world over now dread the holidays. While other parents buy chocolate eggs and goodies to treat their beloved children, alienated parents are tormented, tortured and shunned by the very, so-called Christian parents who will doubtless sit through services and sermons, school assemblies and school plays reminding their children about forgiveness and core Christian values.
Parent Alienation is a living hell, any alienated parent will tell you that. And the holidays have become a portal for the demons
But just as the suffering of the Christian martyr was inflicted by the misguided and the self-righteous, the hell we face every day and every night without our children, is a hell that is orchestrated and controlled by the apparently meek and the mild.
But as alienated parents receive so little support or understanding from our legal system, who, we all wonder, will eventually eventually take those abusing our children to task?