I am strong.
But I am tired.
I am physically tired from living with the mental anguish of grieving for children I love so dearly, who are close enough to hug, but who are now prevented, by you, from loving me.
I am mentally tired from the pain of knowing I don’t deserve that and of listening to the relentless nonsense, rationalisation and explanations invented by morally vacuous people with dead eyes paid to find excuses for the inexcusable for another fee coming from our children’s pocket money.
“It’s a very complicated situation”
“It’s narcissism, she’s ill”
“It’s the fault of you both, your hostility is implacable”
“Just give her time and you’ll all be fine”
“I wish I could help, but I’m just a judge”
“Yes, the children are suffering, but they’re adaptable, kids learn to cope”
“At least she’s not physically abusing them, you’re lucky”
“You can start again, embrace the freedom”
“We wrote the papers but we can’t make her listen”
“It’s common now. You’re not alone”
It’s daily, hateful,bitter white noise spitting poison into the space where love should be.
You’re cleverer than they are, on paper and in practice.
It’s part of what I liked about you, until you turned your sights on me.
Camouflage is your super power, it’s how you’ve survived so long.
This isn’t about hostility any more than the torture victim can be blamed for hurting the torturer’s fist with his passive jaw.
This is about 1 person with complete control.
This is about 1 person with a chain of lives in their pathetic power.
But you know that I see you.
You know that I know that you see you too.
So now we’re all waiting, at the knotted end of our tethers.
Hostages watching to see what you will do.
This could all go away with one call, one email, one letter, one visit.
So why does it drag on, and on and on and on?
Because this, this is ALL about you…YOU.
So look again…….
I see you!
They will too.