We know from the hundreds of suffering parents we talk with around the globe that the twisted game-playing parent alienators work in so many similar ways.
The circumstances differ.
But the tactics are so often the same.
It’s as if they are all holding the same bingo game card, where the numbers appear in a different order, but they’re all called by the game master…eventually.
So, “eyes down looking”, what numbers have they pulled out of the bag labelled with your children’s lives?
- making the other parent apply to court to see the children
- putting the children through social worker interviews for no good reason
- dictating the terms by which the other parent will see them
- refusing to co-draft child arrangements/shared parenting plan
- getting lawyers to threaten less time with the children unless other parent cooperates or using time as a bargaining tool
- refusing to discuss and agree basic needs like routines, medication, school choices, school events, parent consultation, doctors, clothing, activities
- refusing to “allow” school pickup
- refusing to share significant events like Christmas
- late cancellation of agreed dates
- unilaterally dictating children’s calendars
- refusing to agree forward schedule of events/dates
- refusing to communicate other than through lawyers
- criticising the other parent and partner
- criticising gifts, presents or clothes and other items bought by the other parent
- undermining the other parent’s decisions and parenting
- placing the children in the centre of arguments
- discussing age inappropriate issues with children like finances
- where there’s more than one child targeting one child first, splitting them and playing divide and conquer, showering the “loyal” child with special gifts and attention
- colluding with parents of children’s friends to organise events during the other parent’s time then saying they can go without consulting them leaving it to child to resolve
- not telling the other parent about diary clashes
- arranging pickup in car parks and other alien environments
- creating conflict during pickup
- using hostile impersonal terminology to refer to the other parent’s time to imply it is less worthy eg contact or visitation or even babysitting
- making the children scared of the other parents by threatening to withdraw affection if the children show affection for them or telling lies about them
- referring to children as “best friends” and treating them like adults, a form of grooming
- secretly “arming” young children with phones during their time with the other parent and giving the children “missions” to spy and report back
- attacking and verbally abusing children for liking the other parent
- telling children they are disloyal for liking the other parent and punishing them
- linking financial discussions to child arrangements
- supervising calls or communication with the other parent
- criticising the other parent in front of the childrens friends and their parents
- encouraging family and friends to criticise the other parent
- creating hostility during children’s events attended by the other parent
- including new partners in the conflict
- making parents negotiate with new partners
- lying to court to access legal aid
- claiming they “will not make their children do what they don’t want to”
- cutting off all contact with the other half of their family
- refusing to comply with court orders
- claiming the rejection of the other parent is the child’s idea
Anyone with a “full house”?
Find any other numbers?
These people are playing a game with your lives.
Fun for ALL the family.
How are you enjoying the “game”?
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The Peace Not Pas Team