Mission 1. Debate: What is Shared Parenting?

You will see a variety of terms used to describe the continued active involvement of both parents in the emotional, physical and developmental lives of their children following separation, over and above the financial obligations, of course.

They include “co-operative parenting”; “parallel parenting”; “shared contact”; “equal visitation” and “equal parenting”.

But as with emotive terminology like “custody” or “contact” or “allocated time” anything implying ownership or control of the children by one party is clumsy semantically, contrary to the spirit of the most natural of concepts and can cause more harm than good.

The term shared parenting, on the other hand, suggests that both parents have an equitable responsibility and say in the upbringing of their children.

It implies shared guidance, co-operation, responsibility, effort and love and reflects the fact that raising children within or outside of a marriage is an ongoing, selfless commitment that puts the needs of the children first.

We’re very interested to hear what our Peace not PAS community thinks, however.

So please do join the debate and contribute your comments below as we’re certainly open to constructive suggestions.

 

4 thoughts on “Mission 1. Debate: What is Shared Parenting?

  1. Extracts from the debate happening on twitter:
    Q: Is it actually feasible? Where would I find a job that allowed me to pick up and drop kids at school? and also earn enough to pay the rent?

    A: If we start with a 50/50 presumption of rights and resps, means both parents have to work together to sort practicalities.

    A2: And times are changing. Equality at work makes it conceivable that in half cases mother may well be primary income earner and Dad key career

    A3: Current system reliant on people to “do the right thing for family”. But power corrupts. The immoral thrive and good people suffer…..

    A4: Yes! The 2 biggest obstacles will be getting people to co-operate and getting the law to change.

    A5: Bullying comes from a power imbalance. That’s what we have now. Law change will have to come as it’s discriminatory and causing mayhem.

    A6: As the oppo lawyer said “we hold all the cards here as we have the children and we will not compromise as we dont have to”.

    A7: A 50/50 resps and rights starting point will force mediation and proper negotiation and comms to get the best arrangement for children in place. Beats 100-0.

    Please Join in This Debate……we need behaviour change and changes in legislation….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. More interesting reflections from our twitter followers:
    Q: Could the #pas people actually be the ones who want to keep things as they were with their parents: mum home maker, dad provider?
    Q: perhaps they just don’t know/want a career so cling onto the kids coz its all they’ve known at home before? Want to be ft mums but wont admit it?
    Q: Have you considered the role of the mother in law? Perhaps a big issue is that SHE sees herself as the co-parent and may well be behind much of this.

    Like

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