As the name of this blog suggests I am in a battle, however I do not revel in the fight. I am often defeated, but seek no pity for each loss. I cling on to those around me and trust in their love and support. All I wish is to be a father to my three beautiful children. That is what I am fighting for day in and day out.
As any parent fighting parental alienation knows, the number of defeats completely outweigh the victories. Requests and pleas for help are regularly turned down by social services, judges, friends etc. The list goes on of the people, services and institutions that will turn their back on you when you need them the most. An alienated parent’s love for their children is the ultimate motivation to carry on in the face of such adversity.
“It is hard to describe in words what it feels like to fear the possible abduction of one’s own children by their other parent.”
However despite enduring numerous defeats over the last ten and a half months a significant victory fell upon me very recently. There is currently a travel restriction that prevents my ex taking our children out of the country due to the very real and enduring risk of parental abduction. However she very recently attempted to appeal it in court. Her request was denied due to the above risk. This is the small but incredibly significant victory. It is hard to describe in words what it feels like to fear the possible abduction of one’s own children by their other parent, the fear increasing with each passing day leading up to the court hearing.
I do not wish to elaborate any further on the fear, nor the past defeats, but simply emphasise how much I value the support and love from those close to me during this time. Despite everything, I am lucky to have such kindness and compassion around me, to see me through both the victories and the defeats.
In his retelling of the Arthurian legend The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights, John Steinback writes “somewhere in the world there is a defeat for everyone. Some are destroyed by defeat, and some made small and mean by victory. Greatness lives in one who triumphs equally over defeat and victory.”